Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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