C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
