Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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