I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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