I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
