we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
