She's JV to your varsity
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
