i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
