Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Terrible idea I love it
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
