We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
