I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
