You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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