ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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