Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
