life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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