Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found puke in my bra..
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
