ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
