I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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