I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
