I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
