how hairy? two words: wookie tits
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
