discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
