I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
