she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he thought i was a dude.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
