a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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