if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Randomize
