Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I don't deserve a penis
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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