dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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