I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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