Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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