the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
