1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.�
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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