Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
