he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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