We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
