that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
do herpes really smell.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Randomize