i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
