Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
thus making me awesome and them whores
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
How does one acquire holy water?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
