My liver just broke up with me...
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
