either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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