Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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