Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
