You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
