two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
