i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
