How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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