Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
