69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
