Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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