mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
